Lauren Fleshman Book Club

If you are a female distance runner, you coach a female distance runner, or you know a female distance runner, you need to read Lauren Fleshman’s new book “Good For A Girl”. She beautifully writes her story as a runner and all the lessons she has learned along the way. Her authenticity is refreshing, her anecdotes are empowering, and her advice is groundbreaking. We need more runners, teammates, and coaches as strong as Lauren in the running world.

So much of her story and her words resonated with me and my life, so I’ve shared some of my favorite quotes and explained my thoughts behind them. Think of this blog post as a lil mini book club with yours truly:)

I hope you enjoy it and if you haven’t read her book yet, take this as your sign to go start it now!

I love this quote. One because it relates to Pre- a legend who embodies all of the greatness of our sport. And secondly, the quote “It takes guts to put yourself out there when your body doesn’t match the ideal, and to keep doing your best when your best isn’t what you hoped for, or what others expected”. This quote hit me hard. My entire college career (up until this point) has been me fighting to get back to the times I ran in high school, this time in a healthier and more woman-like body. After going through injury cycles, surgery, and hitting puberty at age 19, my body and training has looked very differently than it did in high school. It takes courage for me to step on a line knowing that I am going to be finishing minutes slower than I did in high school. It takes vulnerability to feel happy with a race time that my high school self would have laughed at. I’ve never given myself the space to reflect and feel proud of the bravery and mental strength I’ve had in living with those thoughts as a college athlete. I am proud that although I may be running slower in my new body for now, it has not sent me spiraling back to bad habits. I am proud that I know that this “growing period” is temporary, and that I WILL achieve lifetime PRs eventually in a healthy body, and I know it will be the sweetest feeling ever.

This quote, “Nobody has told them that the record holders and medal winners are grown-ass women, not girls” is probably the most important quote I have followed through my career as a distance runner fighting to recover from RED-S. I’ll always remember the day my high school Coach preached these words to me when I was a sophomore in high school, a sprinter at the time, at my lowest point physically/mentally. Hearing these words were what got through to me and forced me to accept that I was far from okay and needed help now. That night I went home, ate a huge dinner for the first time in ages, and googled those very words. It was the first time I heard of the name Lauren Fleshman, and I immediately became intrigued with her words. I viewed her as a big sister figure, and for some reason I trusted that her words were true. Even when I didn’t listen to doctors or family members warning me that underfueling was harming me, I found that I really did believe in Lauren telling me to pull myself out of the vicious cycle of restriction that I was living in.

To this day, whenever I start to pick apart my body in the mirror, I think of these words. When I cringe at my new curvier figure, with thighs that touch and hips that extend, I hear her words in my head. Reminding me that in a strong women’s body, I will have the power and the health needed to be the best version of myself: as both a runner and person. These are also the first words I preach to any follower who opens up to be about struggling with their body or underfueling. I wish every coach had a sign hung in their offices with this exact message- it is THAT important.

This anecdote to the story hurt my heart to read. Jean’s words “I’d rather be skinny and injured, than healthy and running fast” felt like a stab to my heart as a girl who has spent most of my time injured. Through most of my injuries, my body has looked differently than it did when I was running. From a pure realistic standpoint, this is expected. If I’m bed-ridden after surgery of course it makes sense that my body would soften a little from a lack of lifting. If I’m spending months on crutches of course my shoulders will grow in size and my legs will shrink. Whenever I start to grow frustrated with my “softer body” I remind myself that I’d rather be out of shape and softer but healed and able to run then trying to maintain my peak/toned body through injury. Trying to fight the inevitable just lengthens the period of injury and hurts your heart along the way.

I have also dealt with teammates who have a similar mindset as Jean. It breaks my heart when I hear words like this because it means that they are so twisted up in their disordered thoughts that they prioritize restriction and body image over performance and doing the sport they love.

I absolutely love this question, and it’s something I’ve thought a lot about recently. When I was an injured freshman, my senior captain told me that at the end of the day it is always more important to leave a legacy of the kind, supportive, and positive role model teammate than the fast teammate. She told me she believed I could be both, but it was always more important to prioritize being a positive role model. I’ve carried her words with me everyday since.

My college career has not been the record-setting career I anticipated having. But what I can say is that it’s been equally fulfilling through being a junior captain and knowing that my presence has had a positive impact on my team from both a running and life standpoint. I have earned the respect and support of my team, my coaches, other athletes at this school, and from thousands of people across the country. This is not because of the times I race, but because of my heart, my courage, my honesty, and most importantly: for the love I put into this sport, my team, and to any person I interact with.

This past cross country season I was almost guaranteed to make nationals, something I had been dreaming of for years. However, on the day it mattered most, my shin gave out, and I was forced to DNF. My heart hurt more than my fractured shin watching my dream vanish from my grasps. That next week sucked more than I can describe in words.

Although the season did not have the fairytale ending I had hoped for, there was a huge silver lining for me in finding out that my team had voted me as our “sportsmanship” honoree. Knowing that they looked up to me as a teammate, captain, and friend, regardless of how (or if) I ran, warmed my heart and changed the way I reflected on my season. It was at that moment where I realized I had accomplished what my senior captain had once preached to me: it is always more important to be a great person than a great runner.

This entire page made me want to scream “FINALLY! Someone has said what I’ve always tried to articulate!” I fully understand the first paragraph: being a high-achieving individual who grinds through months of crosstraining in the hopes of maintaining fitness through injury. It’s possible, sure, I’ve done it before and I’ll probably do it again. But the mental battle of getting yourself to do it everyday is hard, especially when the ending seems nowhere in sight. And there have been days where I simply cannot bring myself to get in the pool/ go to the gym. It’s not that I’m not motivated, optimistic, or disciplined. It’s that sometimes the weight of it all comes crushing down on me and I just need a day to soak in the sadness and frustration before my motivation returns. It always does, and I always feel better when I embrace my emotions instead of grinding through them.

I also love the quote about thinking injury is a result of bad choices, when in reality sometimes it just happens. Sure, there are always things you can do to limit the chances of it happening. Eat enough, sleep enough, train adequately, etc. , etc. But the truth of the matter is when you are pushing your body and mind to get the most out of yourself, sometimes injuries happen. It does not make you a bad person, it does not make you a bad athlete, and you must not beat yourself up for it. All you can do is learn, rest, recover, and come back stronger and with more gratitude.

Hearing this from a professional athlete was really powerful for me. I always get upset and frustrated with myself when injuries show up, blaming any possible factor that could have led me to being in this situation. With her guidance, I’ve realized I need to be kinder with my current and past self and accept that all I can do is move forward and do my best to avoid re-injury.

As somebody who has dealt with long-term injuries, I felt a sense of relief knowing that I was not alone in my struggles. Even when I do everything I can to heal and recover, sometimes my body just takes longer to heal. I am sad yet relieved to hear that Lauren has been through similar experiences.

I also love this entire page, starting with the quote “I would have followed Jesse anywhere just to avoid being alone with my thoughts”. I have been injured as a single runner, and I’ve been injured as a runner in a relationship. I can guarantee you that the injuries I’ve endured while dating Luke have been so much easier. When I was on crutches I never had to ask for help with anything, he had already done it. He knows how to keep me laughing and smiling no matter my physical/emotional pain. And he is something constant I can rely on even when everything else in my life is up in the air.

When she discusses the choice to rest, even when cleared to crosstrain, I feel like it’s speaking to my current state. After over five months of dealing with shin stress fracture, my coach and I decided it would be best to greatly reduce my training, even though the doctors gave me clearance to continue. We are gambling that it’s so much more important to heal my body than force my body to maintain its fitness. If Lauren can do it, so can I.

I love these paragraphs because they remind me of me and the platform I’ve created through @kylierunssmiley . I’m nowhere near the fastest runner on instagram, I don’t go to a fancy division 1 school, and I’m only 21. Even still, I have created a brand for myself, cultivated a community of like-minded individuals, and have the power to share my story and make a difference in other people’s lives. For that I am so grateful and honored.

I love how Lauren says “These were things I could do that didn’t depend on my physical body being 100 percent perfect all the time”. YES! This is what I am saying! Having this platform and community of followers has been the most important thing for me in staying positive and motivated through all of my setbacks. It keeps me tied and engaged in the sport, even when I cannot do it myself. I know that no setback will ever get the most of me because I have purpose in my day to day life, sharing all the highs and lows and everything in between with the world.

Building off my last point, her last paragraph fully encapsulates why I share what I share. I often receive messages from followers thanking me for my honesty in sharing everything that I’ve been through. The truth of the matter is that it’s never easy to open up about hard times. But I always do, because I know that if it can help at least one person out there feel better/ not alone, then I am doing a good job in this world. I hope to be a role model for others in the ways that Lauren is for me.

Lastly, I love Lauren’s line of “Since then, I’ve defined success for myself and I do it my own way”. This is awesome. I’d rather be running consistently, happy, and living a life of balance, then running quicker times and feeling lonely, rigid, and sad. Success for me is living a life of adventure and excitement, feeling confident and strong, and running because I love to do it. That’s my own definition of success as a runner. Owning that definition is a powerful tool in continuing to come back after setbacks and staying motivated through plateaus. Focus on the journey, not the destination. Do it for the love of it. Inspire people along the way. And focus more on the memories made than the times ran.

Thank you Lauren for opening up, sharing your story, and for being a positive role model for us all. When approached in the right mindset, I believe running is the post empowering thing a woman could do for herself. I hope that as more positive role models step into the light as teammates, coaches, and professional runners, the prevalence of RED-S will decrease tenfold. I hope that by time I’m having kids, my daughters will be taught how important it is to take care of their bodies, that their body changing is a beautiful thing, and that the consistent and happy runner will always outperform their competition.

I am glad I am reading this book when I still have decades of running ahead of me. I know that her words have made me feel stronger, more confident, and more motivated than ever before.

Cheers to a revolution of healthy strong women running fast and taking over this sport!